talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
