I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
