I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
