he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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