I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
