I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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