I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
