Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
