Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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