Sponge bath it is.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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