i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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