They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
