So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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