Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
