ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
