first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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