i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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