At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is wine microwaveable?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
