You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
