i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
