you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
