in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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