be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
