So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
