Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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