well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
