I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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