She said her name was "party"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
