return my video game
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
