The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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