You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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