3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
