If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
