Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize