By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
