I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
