New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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