I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
