its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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