Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
