I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
