guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
