how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
