How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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