On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
