we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
