I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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