I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
