id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
