you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Are we still banned from the library?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
