Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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