all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
