yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
