i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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