omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
