Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
