If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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