Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
whose parrot is this?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
