Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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