I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
