as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
